If you cross the boundaries of sex during dating, you should stop that dating venture for your own good. Something has been compromised, and that thing is the foundation. A structure can never outgrow its foundation, and your union, if you go ahead with it, will suffer from that blunder and, in all likelihood, never bloom.

You can not fix a cohabiting situation into a stable marriage even if you perform a wedding later.

Other people take the traditional way because it's more permissive, intending to come back to the way of their convictions and faith later. Every system has its own energy, and you can not cheat your way around it. Traditional system was never designed for love. There was no word like that even. At least not the kind of love where the partners become companions and one flesh. It was all about reproduction and provision. Women had no dreams and no voice, so a man couldn't hope for a companion on his level. He needed to marry many women and have multiple homesteads, which actually left him without an emotional soulmate.

Again, you can force your way after crossing the lines, but something will be lost and for good. For one, when you enter sexual compromise, you lose touch with your intuition and your spiritual guide. Your body and your feelings take over, and you start groping in the dark. You struggle with guilt and doubt. This is not the mindset with which you want to put the foundation for a lifelong thing.

In short, your potential is a delicate thing. Do not risk it by skipping stages and mixing yourself up. You may part ways with it for good. The moment you start a questionable union according to your internal values, your conscience will convict you for a while and then go silent when you keep ignoring it. That's how you lose your bearing and your radar in life.

From then on, you will live an impostor life, and you will know it. You will feel a flood of sadness every time you come across someone walking in the path you know was yours as well. If you're already in a situation right now, just turn back. The first step when you find yourself in a ditch is to stop digging. Stop digging and start climbing out.

This way, you give your life a chance of amounting to what was intended for you. You will also know that you almost traded your destiny for the wrong union.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

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There are people who speak better to outsiders than they speak to their own family. They're very nice and charming out in the world but when they go home they're mean and rude. Reason? Because they can get away with it, or so they think. Out in the world if they speak unkindly they suffer consequences immediately; at work they'll get punished and they may lose the job; among their friends they'll get immediate disapproval and risk of being alienated. But at home they know nobody will leave and so they get presumptuous.

This is why the biggest killer of relationships and marriages today is not infidelity but complacency. It's when you no longer care about your partners feelings. You no longer want to work at making them feel adored, respected, seen and supported. You instead dump unkind language on them.

The truth is that your loved ones may be long suffering but they're not forever suffering. Eventually they will get tired and get you out of their life, and 'there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth,' or deep regrets.

The rule in life is that whatever you mismanage you always lose. Anything you take for granted will be taken away. The most important people are your family because they form the base of your life. That's where you stand to face the world. To assume them is to shoot yourself in the foot.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global) #Copied from Benjamin zulu #worth sharing

A lot of men simply marry the woman who happens to be in front of them at the time they get ready to get married. Few men will launch out to search for the right partner with discipline and intention. This is because many men think they can make it work with just any woman. Especially if she's giving him some bare minimum attention or sex. Even if she's reluctant and unavailable, he will pursue her and marry her.

Of course such a thing cannot last because it's his agenda not hers, although she may flow along for the benefits.
Soon it goes down the drain, or he's forced to flee for his own peace. There may have been a child already or a period of time lapsed. He goes and repeats the same cycle elsewhere and by the time he's mid life he has the debris of these mistakes littered all over his life; multiple children with different women, a shattered heart and hopelessness.

And yet this is a cool guy, a husband material who meant well. The problem is that he tried to marry on impulse as opposed to intention and sobriety.

A lot of people work very hard and build a successful career. But when it comes to relationships they get presumptuous and emotional, and as a result they roll back all the gains they had made in their career development.

As for you, better to swallow your ego and undertake self education before you board the wrong marriage bus. Just like it took years to be trained for your career, and you continue learning after graduation, marriage is the same. You must learn about it for at least some years before graduation, and afterwards you keep learning while inside of it.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global) #copied from Benjamin zulu