"When we feel most stuck, it's often because we are trying to decipher who we really are by piecing together images we assume others have of us" (Brianna Wiest).

When you pay more attention to others than to yourself, over time, you buy into their ideas and images of who you are. What's worse, sometimes you think you know those images whereas they may be entirely different from what you think.

There is thus no greater liberation than that from depending on others to define you. This is not to say you shouldn't obtain feedback from others regarding yourself. But there is a limit as to how far that should go.

Otherwise you run the risk of uncritically accepting the beliefs and standards of others (introjection), which actually may have nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. Their insecurities, their fears, their self sabotaging behaviors.

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