Check your expectations. If your spouse is continually disappointing you, it may not be his or her actions; it may be your expectations. Yes my wife and I will disappoint each other now and then but it is very infrequent and usually quite minor. It wasn't always so. Early on in our marriage we disappointed, frustrated, and hurt each other quite often, and sometimes very very deeply. Here was the problem. When we married we loved each other but what I did not realize is I had an unspoken expectation my wife was responsible to make me happy, to bring me joy, to be my security, to be my strength, to be my comforter, to be my everything. In essence I literally expected my wife to provide for me the things that only God can, and she unknowingly expected the same of me. With such high expectations we were guaranteed to fail and disappoint one another and that led to bad choices made by both of us. Eventually we realized what we were doing and changed our expectations. I no longer expected my wife to be God, nor did she have that expectation of me. We allow God to be sovereign in our marriage, to meet the needs, desires, and expectations, and fulfill what His Word says He will. My wife and I concentrate on our part, doing the things that His word tells us to do and making the choices for things we have control over. God never disappoints and now my wife and I rarely disappoint each other.
Flora Achola
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