AN INSIGHT ON HANDLING MID LIFE CRISIS
Being supportive of your friend or loved one will help them achieve the patience and self-trust they need to understand their new emotions.
Here are some ways you can help.
1. Recognize the signs of change
One common characteristic of a midlife crisis is a drastic departure from usual behaviour and activities.
"At one end of the spectrum, the individual might appear depressed: lacking energy, uninterested in things that they usually enjoys, unmotivated and unwilling to do much about it," .
"At the other end of the spectrum, the person might be devoting considerable time and money to new or previously minor activities."
If your friend's new attitude seems harmful or risky, bring it up with them. Talking about changes you've noticed will let your friend know that you're there for them if need be.
2. Don't judge
In order for your friend to feel comfortable speaking with you about their feelings, they must feel safe and secure. "Try not to label or judge your friend's behaviour,"
"If you truly care, keep an open heart and an open mind, and be sincerely curious."
It is suggested that you let your friend know that you've noticed they've been going out more often than they used to or that they are engaging in activities that are out of character, and asking what brought on the sudden shift. It's possible to ask questions without being pushy or judgmental.
3. Be honest
Your friend's new emotions are uncharted territory for the both of you, and chances are they are just as confused as you are. The best way to help a friend work through this confusion is to be honest.
Asking questions will help you better understand what your friend might need from you.
4. Don't assume a change needs an intervention
While you might be shocked and concerned about this new side of your friend, it's important to know that his or her new behaviour isn't necessarily harmful. The changes or desires that manifest in midlife can be just as natural as changes that happen in our teens or twenties.
"Midlife is not an illness or an accident. What you might label as your friend's ‘midlife crisis' warranting intervention may actually be part of your friend's vital personal evolution,"
"For instance, a woman who has been a homemaker for many years, focused on her husband and children, might now decide it's time for her to spread her wings ."
Rather than automatically jumping into "help mode," be open with your friend in trying to understand what's really happening in his or her life.
5. Help your friend work
toward their goals
Underneath the superficial changes is a bigger issue: the desire for a more meaningful fulfillment from life,. "In the midst of a midlife crisis – whether we're totally aware of it or not – we're asking ourselves fundamental questions," .
"Who am I? What's my place in the world? What truly, deeply matters to me? If the clock is ticking in my life, how do I want to spend the time that's left?"
While you may not have all the answers for your friend, you can help them work towards finding the fulfillment they crave. This could be in the form of yoga, meditation classes, art courses or group therapy. Experiencing a shocking midlife change can be scary, but with honesty and an open mind, you can help your friend discover the person they want to be – and that's something to look forward to.
"In a sense, a midlife crisis is great news. It forces us to grapple with the really important issues in our lives. Without it, we might coast from young adulthood right through to old age on automatic pilot," Sometimes, it just takes a bit of inner grappling to realize our true goals.
(ADOPTED FROM CANADIANLIVING. COM)
Cc. 99 sensations
